Angela's Blog

Hey there,

Happy Halloween! Hope it's a fun day for you all and especially for your kiddos who are about to get jacked up on candy and make your lives as miserable as they can. Oh joy - the excitement of the beginning of the holidays!

I really don't have much right now. My head has sort of been in the dumps lately but I guess that is just sort of par for the course. I finally got low enough yesterday that I committed to calling the happy-clappy TBI shrink at Harborview and making an appointment. Just have some nasties to slog through and I think I need some help. Despite the aforementioned title I really like the haapy-clappy TBI shrink. He's great. He's not all sugar-coated or oh-this or oh-that, he's pretty down to business but gentle and a good listener. I'm hoping he can be helpful with managing this poo pile I'm living in right now. It is kind of weird though. My mom's take on where I'm at is sort of hopeful. She thinks that maybe now that I'm now starting to plateau a little bit in my physical recovery I have the energy needed to really start my emotional recovery. Makes sense. I don't think I had the energy to deal with this head stuff while I was working SO hard learning to walk again or learning how to take care of myself again. Now that I don't have to work so hard at that stuff, maybe I'm having the energy to work hard on healing in other ways. Don't get me wrong, it sucks to be where I'm at, but I think it needs to be done. It's part of the process.

A little bit of other news - we ordered at-home neurofeedback equipment and it should be getting here soon. It'll be really nice to not have to go all the way to Bellevue to do that kind of therapy. And having my own equipment makes me able to take it with me when I travel. Now I'll be able to continue therapy while I'm in Alaska for Christmas rather than being forced to have a big hiatus in therapy because I'm out of town.

And I'm excited because we get to go have lunch with Annie today. She's Drew's lady friend. Drew is the guy we know of that got hurt at the end of August. He was in a coma and is now starting the road to recovery. I think it'll be really nice to be able to support her, share our experiences with her, answer any questions she has, and pray with her and for her. I'm just a little scared that I'll cry the whole time. But I think I'll be able to at least quasi keep it together because we all have that nice automatic internal function where if we don't feel like we're in a safe place to cry we just won't.

Kinda funny how useful that function has become for me. I used to be so tough - never really cried. And now in the words of my husband, "She just goes water works." Weird. But I guess that's just part of the new me - who I am now that my brain got banged around a bit.

Would appreciate prayer for the shrink stuff, and that I can beat myself up about it less.

Thanks.

Talk at ya later.

Ang