Hi again. I'm back. Got lots for you today.

As for last week - outpatient started out great. I had 1 PT appointment and 2 OT appointments. PT seems good but it'll be tough. I will definitely be tired on PT days. LOTS of practice walking. And I got some awesome new exercises to do every day. Like do the grapevine, walk heel to toe, and balance on my left foot while making the alphabet with my right foot. And I can already see improvements on all of them. I feel more stable and don't need to hold on to any one's hand anymore to do the grapevine, I'm getting better at the heel-toe by not having to hold on anymore and now I don't even look at my feet anymore either, and I got all the way to "r" today before having to put my foot down while on my left foot! These are all really big accomplishments for me! And OT seems good too. She is mostly working on fine motor skills so it isn't crazy painful as of yet. Kinda nice but I'm still wary. All OT to this point has been ridiculously painful so I'm still suspicious. Oh yeah, and I got cleared to get rid of my walker. Yeah!

Let's see, lots for next week too. Wednesday I have my TBI follow-up where I get to ask about going back to work and driving. Among other things. My goal for that appointment is to get the doctor's note I need to go back to work. Then Thursday is my ortho follow-up where I get to learn what the plan is for all the hardware in my arm. My goal for that appointment is to get them to schedule a surgery to take at least some of this crap out. It is really starting to bother me and my elbow hurts a lot of the time now.

So, big week, here I come. Stay tuned for updates. I'll post info when I get it.

Bye,

Ang

I know, it's been kind of a lot lately, but bear with me. Just thought I'd give another update.

Boy, yesterday was HARD!!! I did not have a good day! Was just sort of overwhelmed all day with feeling ugly. The pins and needles in my face are really hard for me to deal with. It just feels like I look like a stroke victim. The whole left side of my face still feels paralyzed. I know it's not, but it still feels that way. And it does move less than the right side of my face. WTF?!?!? What I would give to just feel pretty.

We stopped by the ICU yesterday at Harborview to thank some of the nurses and just check-in. They all told me how good I look, but of course, the last time they saw me I was swollen and in a coma. I know, I know, stop beating myself up. It's just really hard, that's all.

And then a little later I totally felt under attack. The enemy was telling me all kinds of things, and they sounded so true. He was telling me that I should feel bad for Josh that he ever married me since now I've ruined his life. And that I do nothing now but make my husbands life harder and make him sad all the time. He told me that I am just a big reminder of the accident and everyone would be so much better off if they didn't have to take care of me everyday. That I am just a big downer and all I do is make people sad. Not good! But at least I was able to recognize it as attack and I prayed for Jesus to defeat the devil and shed light on truth rather than lies. And it worked. God is so good! And He does love me! I am His daughter and He will always intercede for me for when I need Him! Phew! That is some good news! Because I was pretty lost before I called all that back to mind.

Any prayer you can spare for me on this front would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

Ang

Speaking of successes. Just had another one! This one you may want to, or not want to, hear about. So here goes - I popped my first zit since the accident. I think Josh might be happiest about this one because he's had to love me efficaciously in this way since the accident. It was on my chin so I could reach it. Kinda gross, I know. But a success nonetheless. Unfortunately I still can't reach the rest of my face with my left hand but I'm working on it.

That's all I've got.

Ang

Hola! How are you? Hope things are going well.

Well, I start a whole new adventure today, I have some good news, and I have a whole new struggle I'm dealing with. Where to start? How about the beginning? The new adventure - outpatient at Harborview. I start with PT today, start OT tomorrow, and start speech in a little while. Hope it's good! At least I should get new exercises so I'm excited about that. And I hope to get clearance soon to donate my walker to the nursing home I was in. Won't miss that! At all!

The good news - I've been able to reconnect with a few choice people from my past. And it is awesome!!! I even get to have lunch with the one I'm most excited about on Friday. What a treat! Guess this accident wasn't all bad after all. Being able to use it as a catalyst to re-hook up kinda makes it worth it. At least a tiny bit.

Let's see, the new struggle - I kind of feel trapped in recovery. It's not that I don't think I'm getting better, I can see lots of little improvements, but I just don't feel like I'll ever be done. Guess it all gets back to my lack of patience. I feel like I'll be getting better forever. And yeah, yeah, I know this is a whole lifelong journey but that just doesn't help make it any more palatable. Speaking of improvements, that was just one - my vocabulary has expanded enough to say palatable. Gotta take the little things I can get. I just wonder "will my left hand cramp up in the morning forever or will that go away?" You know, or maybe you don't, that kind of stuff. Definitely fodder for some questions at my TBI follow-up appointment next week. Look at that - fodder. Not bad! Little successes all the time.

Well, that's about all I've got.

Ta ta for now,

Ang

I can't believe that it has been 6 months. It so often feels like that Ang got hurt just yesterday while at the same time it seems like it was years ago. As a husband I am so very thankful for where we are, but at the same time I am so angry that we had to go through this. What we have gone through is the stuff that you read about and never imagine that it could be you. It seems like just yesterday that I got the call saying that I needed to go to Harborview to be with my wife. I remember collapsing to my knees and praying that you were okay. I have always had a plan and going through this has made me realize how truly frivolous our plans are. We had all of our boxes checked; serving in church, being involved in community, etc. Our plans were nothing compared to what was in store for us. It has been amazing to see God at work in our lives since you got hurt.

I am so thankful that there is a vast part of this process that you don't remember but it was so hard to have gone through the first couple of months without you. I am so angry that this happened but I thank God every day that my wife is here now and I can look back on what we have gone through with her. When we first began this journey we had no idea what to expect. I knew my wife and her tenacious spirit, but honestly had no idea how strong she was until we went through this. Pride is a sin according to the Gospel, but there isn't a day that goes by that I am not proud of my wife and how much work she puts into getting back to "normal".

I have had a plan my entire life, but with what we have gone through has brought an uncertainty for us that will continue for years to come. I don't know what normal is supposed to be any more, but I know how precious life is that is for sure. I thank God that He has a perfect plan for us and that Ang will be completely healed one day regardless of what our life now brings us. This is hard to accept, but I believe with all my heart that it is truth.

I know that Ang will continue to heal; that where we are at is just another chapter of were God would have us. I pray that God will continue to heal Ang and that we would some day be able to have a family.

Our time here is short so don't take a second that you have with your loved ones for granted. Make a difference while you can! Eternity is forever, but while we are here we are called to love one another so turn to Jesus and love the best that you can.

Ang- You are an inspiration. Your willingness to share the Gospel even in our most trying time is amazing. It just goes to show people how Jesus can change your heart. If anyone can come back from this I know that it is you. No matter what the future holds for us I will never forget what you have gone through to be here and will strive to be the man that you deserve. I want to love you and to lead you. I will continue to strive to fulfill every vow that I made to you the day that were married and will always be by your side. I know that I have fallen short and ask that you would forgive me. I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.

There isn't a day that goes by that I wish that I could take all of this away, but at the same time am thankful that we have been able to share what we have gone through. I feel broken but built up in Christ and know that you are too. I never thought that I could love you more, but I feel that this experience has helped me understand how truly precious you are. I love you with all of my heart and always will.

I am so thankful that you are here to share your life with me. You amaze me every single day.

I would like to thank you all for your support and prayers and I ask you all to continue to pray for my wife. Pray that the Lord would continue to heal her and protect her and our family from the enemy during this season.

Your loving husband- Meow

I'm back. As promised. And it has officially been 6 months since my accident! Sometimes it is surprising it's been that long like the accident was yesterday and sometimes it seems like it's been years. It feels like I've been struggling with mobility on my left side forever but it also seems like just yesterday that I didn't need a shower chair. Oh my. I certainly have been blessed. I've made HUGE progress! I've made it further in 6 months than some people make it in their entire recovery. Geez! Can you even imagine if I was still in a coma?!?! It's a trip to even think about. Wow!

As promised, here is a visual representation of my progress. But not without a warning. If you had to see me right after the accident and it scarred you, please don't go any further. If you didn't see me right after the accident because it was too much, please stop now. And if you're under the age of 18 please ask your parents before you go any farther. This is not rated G. Parental guidance is definitely suggested. Ok, here goes.

Here I am right after the accident...

Pretty trippy, huh?!?! Boy, I was messed up!

And then I finally opened my eyes a little later...

And only 6 months later, here I am now...

Kinda crazy! To say the least! But I think it is good for me to have some idea how far I've come. Even though according to Josh these pics don't even do it justice. He says it was even more overwhelming to see me like that plus see all the machines I was hooked up to plus see all the tubes sticking out of me. Wow! Maybe my not remembering is a blessing. 'Cause it looks like if I did remember it would have been pretty painful.

Looking at all this stuff does make me feel bad for Mom and Josh, though. But I guess they would have much rather been looking at me like that than looking at a headstone or an urn.

On that happy note I'll sign off. Thanks for hanging in there with me and I'm sorry for all those who did have to see me like that. Hope I didn't damage anyone or scare them. It is what it is.

Bye,

Ang

I know, two in one day. Yeah, yeah, just bear with me. I just got really excited and had to share that I just swept and used the dustpan all by myself. That dustpan job is certainly a two-handed one and it is out-of-reach no more. Heck yeah!!! Success!!!

Oh, and while at the pool today I swam in the deep end without the cheater belt. Awesome! I swam on my back in the deep end without any help!!! Fantastic! And I was able to make circles in the water with my left hand going both ways! That's another first.

Thanks for your patience and putting up with my little word vomit.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Ang

Thanks so much for keeping up. Can't imagine how lonely this would be if I had to do it alone. As if it's not hard enough. My heart just breaks for anyone else who's had to do this. Especially without incredible support! Can't even imagine it! And so thankful I don't have to! You guys really keep me going sometimes. You and Jesus. Good gracious, I can't even imagine doing this without God. He's carried me through much of it. And I mean much! How blessed I am!

It was kind of wild though - as I was sitting in church on Sunday I was totally convicted. Mark was preaching about how we all have to wage war with the enemy and I just haven't been doing that good of a job at it. For all big things I have been and remain 100% Jesus. But I am also my biggest critic and do a pretty good job of beating myself up pretty much daily. I just never thought of it before as giving Satan a foothold with my negative self-talk. But I guess that's what it is. I need to be thanking Jesus for all that He has given me and done for me every time I want to criticize myself or where I'm at. So that's my new plan. God knows I'll need prayer to stick to it. So that's where you come in. And gently - or not so gently - kick me in the butt if you hear me getting down on myself. Thanks. Much appreciated.

Boy, I sure count on all of you a lot. Sure am glad you're willing to team up with me on this whole healing process. Thanks.

Let's see - anything else. Well, I had a whole new set of successes on Monday. I spent my first day home alone all day. Pretty big deal. And I even walked over and went to the gym solo. And I didn't fall or get run over by a car (again) or even hurt myself in any way. It was a pretty big success. And boy did it feel good. Made me feel like I just might get back to being independent at some point. Pretty cool. At least a glimmer of hope. Although I also discovered staying home alone is not my favorite. I like it a lot better when Mom or Josh is here with me. Then at least I have someone to talk to. And laugh with.

Made a little more progress on the acupuncture front too. Now both sides of middle finger and one side of my ring finger on my left hand have feeling. Thank you, Abby. No small feat!

I think that is about all for now. I'll post again tomorrow with some scary pictures of when I first got in the accident to mark my 6 months. Whew - I can't believe how far I've come!!!

Talk to you tomorrow.

Ang

Yo! Good news here! And lots of it!

Let's see - where to start? How about in the shower. No mental pictures, please! I had 2 huge successes in the shower. First, I was able to wash my right shoulder with my left hand. Haven't been able to reach that far until now. I tried again this morning but I couldn't reach again. And second, I successfully shaved my right armpit with my left hand!!! Twice! Don King in a headlock no more!!!

And the next big success came last Thursday at my acupuncture appointment. I got a little more feeling back!!! This time it's on the sides of my middle finger on my left hand. Now I can squeeze the bottom close to my palm without feeling the pins and needles! HUGE!

Let's see - I also made it to the gym three times last week. Finally! And on Friday when I went it was pretty tough because I just kept being reminded of how hurt I am. I am REALLY far from where I was before I got in this accident. But, hey, at least I'm still here.

Another bit of progress came because I finally manned up and looked at all the pictures of me from when I was in ICU. Crazy!!! I did not look good! But they do serve as a good reminder of where I was and how far I've come already. Kinda took the sting out of thinking about how hurt I still am while at the gym when I can only imagine how hurt I was! That is simply mind-boggling! Although I'll put the first warning out there, my plan is to post one of those pictures Thursday. That'll be my official 6 month-a-versary from the accident and it is shocking how far I've come!

One last little first - we went to our "normal" church service today in the morning. We've been going at night since the accident because there's less people and fewer people we know to get attacked by. But we did the 11:15 today and it was fine. We didn't get hoarded. It was nice.

I think that's all I've got. Thanks for keeping up.

Ang

Hi again. It's me - as though it would be anyone else.

Not too much going on the past few days. Pretty relaxing day Tuesday. Just one little fun thing - had to go get my blood drawn at Highline hospital because the people from my PCP lost the blood they drew last week. Oh well. Did get one bit of good news, however. Apparently it is confirmed that I don't have Hepatitis. Gotta take what I can get these days. Lame good news but good news nonetheless.

Today was okay. Headed over to the gym again and did weights. I accidentally screwed up and got the quad and hamstring machines confused. At least I got the weights confused. Resulted in me doing my quad weight on my hamstrings. So that was a big success. Upped my weight by 15 pounds to now doing 50 on my hammies. Pretty good for me.

One other success today. I made dinner! And it was even good. Made a delicious Mexican pie type dish which was pretty much taco casserole. Yum.

That's about it. Talk to you soon.

Ang

Hey there.

Big progress to report in the last few days! And I mean BIG!!! Boy, Saturday was full! I was able to balance on just my left foot for 33 seconds!!! Woo hoo! That sure beats the 1-2 seconds I was able to get in my PT assessment last week. Right on!!! I'll definitely keep working on that and maybe I'll be able to 'wow' my PT when I go in for my first appointment. And I did Wii fit for the longest I've been able to go so far. Big progress! And then I went with Josh and practiced driving! Kinda freaky but good nonetheless. I'm not sure if the discomfort is because I haven't driven in a while or because it was my first time driving the Subie. Either way it'll take some practice before I am comfy driving again. It'll definitely help when I can use my left arm a little more too.

As for today, I went to the gym with Mom and had three more big successes. First, I was able do sets of 12 on the bicep curl machine for the first time. Second, I was able to do 3 sets on the assisted pull up machine for the first time. And lastly, I felt comfortable on the elliptical for the first time. And comfortable enough to do a whole mile!!! Not too shabby! I'm getting there - even if it is slow. And I recognize that it's only slow to me. Either way - YEAH!

That's about all I've got. Thanks for keeping up.

Ang

Hey there.

Sorry about the hiatus. Guess I needed a little break. Nothing huge to report but lots of little stuff. Lots of little progress.

First, I got a new PCP this week. And he is up for the challenge. Or at least he says he is. We'll see.

Next, I got started in outpatient at Harborview. And they only scheduled me out to mid-April. Don't know if that's 'cause they think I'll be done or if they just didn't want to discourage me. Either way I'm a little overwhelmed that I'm starting what will be the rest of my natural life. I just can't even fathom a time when I'm better. Seems like it would be a ways off. A LONG ways. My PT seemed good and my OT did too. Again, we'll see. At least they didn't pull on my arm like crazy and make it hurt a lot. I was pretty worried about that and now it seems as though I was worried for no reason. Although the next few weeks should be a trip since I am without therapy until the 24th. Kinda weird. Seems like it might be a bad idea to go so long. Who knows. Guess I'll just really have to keep on top of my exercises on my own. Woo hoo.

I was also able to love on a friend and watch her kids (with my mom) while she went to flower & garden show with her mom. Felt good to give back a little. And the 3-year-old didn't seem to mind at all that I was handicapped. I read books with her, played games, and even held and fed her baby brother. Not too shabby.

The pool kicked my butt, as usual. And both outpatient therapists said it's good that I get to do that every week. Just let me know if you're interested in coming to the pool with me. The more the merrier.

And my husband went out and bought me a safer car this week. Subaru outback, here I come. It's nice and it has the coveted butt warmers. Yeah! Now I just have to learn to drive again. Shouldn't be too bad though. I'm at least mentally ready to try it.

And, the best for last, I had an awesome acupuncture session today! During it I had a whole new sensation. I could feel between my big toe and my second toe on my left foot and it just felt like skin. No pins and needles. At least between two of my toes. Then later in the session I could move all the toes on my left foot and feel it. Up until that point I could feel my big toe and my little toe independently but the other three all felt like one big toe. Now they all feel separate and I feel like I can move them! Yessssss!!!

I think that's about all I've got going now. I'll write back sooner rather than later. I promise. Thanks for your patience.

Ang