Angela's Blog

While still not passing the "swallow water" test, Ang did progress to ice chips.   We cheered and still await the day she can swallow water without choking....  seems odd doesn't it....I kind of take drinking water for granted.  I did learn that she can have V-8 juice so we will try that out tomorrow.   I also get to make the child pastina (a standard family recipe on both sides of the family for those times when you really, really need comfort food) later this week.    Can't wait! ! ! 

Got a question on where she is via the stages.   Here is an update on how I see her stages:   

Stage IV behaviors:   I am covered in pinch marks and scratches and I am quite diligent at interrupting those behaviors by providing an alternate (acceptable) option to bite, pinch, and scratch.   She is quick, and accurate in her target.   OUCH! ! !  When one does not get enough sleep, one can be tempted to return the inappropriate behavior.   Fortunately, I have not been bitten.   She yells instead of using her words to tell me something is not right in her world.   She doesn't always remember modesty the way she was taught!

Stage V behaviors:   Inconsistently doing whatever she wants to do regardless of the request made.   She is quite strong-willed (as you know) and maybe she will lift her leg to help with dressing and maybe she won't.   Maybe she will use her words to tell you what she wants and maybe she will just yell.   It can be a total surprise!   Sometimes one thing...sometimes another.

Stage VI behaviors:  Consistently following commands - "Don't throw the food" hasn't reached this status yet but brush your teeth always results in brush in mouth complete with a good tongue brushing!  Handing her the hairbrush always ends up in the hair.

Stage VII behaviors:  Knowing she has to provide a compensation technique and providing it.  While her left leg is not fully functioning yet we are thrilled with the vast improvements....  when it doesn't quite go where she wants it, she simply hooks her right foot under it and moves it where she wants it to go.   Clever girl! ! ! 

It fascinates and intrigues me that my girl can solve simple algebraic problems in her head, tell me the correct symbols from the periodic table from memory, spell almost any word you send her way, read with pretty consistent understanding of the meaning of the words, do addition/subraction in her head and yet not be able to sit up unassisted or know she has to pee.    Learning how are brains are compartmentalized into 'teams' that cooperate is quite fascinating but watching it up close can be overwhelming.    All while asking....how far will she go?

More and more of you are asking what you can do for me....  the best thing I can tell you is to 'hold me able'.   Hold me able to make good decisions on how to best support my daughter and her husband.   Hold me able to ask for help.   Hold me able to be gracious when I have to ask you to leave, wait, step back, or cry.    Know that I will need you as Ang grows in her independence and I have to learn how to 'let go' all over again.   
Ang became one of my best friends after she returned from being a crazy young teen ....  you may not know that we spoke on the phone every other day if not every day.   We would leave crazy voice messages for each other when we missed each other.  I had to learn to let her take the lead after she got married so I would not interrupt but she always found time to connect with me.  We had gone out to dinner (just the two of us) the night before the accident.  You probably can imagine how much I miss those phone calls and emails.  What I am doing is not amazing.  What I am doing is what I am called to do by virtue of the fact that I am her Mom.   I could not raise her alone the first time .... I had a villiage of people who helped me and supported me.   I cannot do this alone now and I thank you repeatedly for being part of my village now.   We all have our part and whether you see me daily or not, I appreciate your cards, emails, calls, posts on the bridge, or just caring thought and prayers that I am able.    AND, thanks for never telling me I look tired.   I appreciate it.

Hugs to you all.

Mom