Angela's Blog

Hi.

Big news - and I mean BIG! And just a fair warning - this is a full-on Jesus centric post. So if you're not into Jesus, well, read it anyway - you might get something from it.

Anywho, the big news is that I had an AWESOME experience last night. Josh and I had another counseling session with Pastor James and it was good. Really good. In the midst of the session we talked about how I've been really holding onto current circumstances and sort of getting embittered that God isn't just taking the crappy stuff away like the pins and needles. I've been really questioning a lot lately how can a God who loves me and wants the best for me just leave me with these pins and needles. As I was talking about this a dim light came on that maybe He's leaving me with these difficulties and struggles so that I'm more dependent on Him. Hmmm. It's possible. So as we went on and talked about this and where I'm at more I got pretty darn convicted that I REALLY need to repent on my crappy attitude in this. The truth is that God is good, He does love me, and His "Plan A" is the best plan for me. And His "Plan A" includes the pins and needles, obviously. And I'll get to ask Him "why" when I see Him face to face in heaven.

So before bed last night I started praying about this. I told God that what I want most is deeper relationship with Him and to be closer to Him and more dependent on Him. Mid prayer it became clear to me that my big E on the eye chart sin has really been worshipping comfort instead of God. So I asked for forgiveness on that and as I was apologizing to God that I've really just wanted comfort not what's best for me (Him) for a split second I tried to weave in the "explanation" of why I have the pins and needles and that's when He really spoke to me. He laid on my heart that what I really need is to increase my trust in Him and my faith. And so I was able to pray, "God, I trust you and whatever reason you have for giving me these pins and needles, I know it is what's best for me. Thank you for loving me and caring enough about me to put me in the best possible place. Thank you for these pins and needles because I trust you and know that they are what is best for me right now."

Anyways, it was BIG!!! And I feel so much different now! I feel like I can be grateful for even what is tough. Thank you, Jesus, for my pins and needles. Thank you for my muscle spasticity. Thank you for my imbalance and left-side weakness. Thank you. And thank you for being right here with me!

Wow.

Big.

Hope you're making leaps forward like I am.

Praise God!

Ang